Saturday, February 5, 2011

Grace, Thy name is NOT Manda

I am not a graceful person. Many women walk this earth and can walk into the room, well put together and everyone turns to say how graceful she is. Not me. Nope. I'm the one who walks into the room and people laugh after I trip over a non existant obstacle and collapse to the floor with the contents of my purse scattering about. Add high heels to this event and it's quite possible there will be a high chance of broken ankles.

Even as a little girl in ballet glass, it was quite obvious that was not a path I was going to take. Most of the girls in class were very lean and tall, while I was short round and tanky. Oh yeah i'm built like a tank. Big boned to the core. Also, no ounce of grace at all. If you don't believe me, ask my mom to show you the videos (I have no shame) It looked like a moose plopping around the stage. But I was into it. I gave it everything. That showed.

In middle school I decided that I just had to run from the High school back to the middle school after band. Managed to find the one raised spot in the sidewalk and fell, breaking my middle finger in front of most of the middle school. I think the slap to my pride was worse pain though.

It's not uncommon for me to run into walls or run into doors and working in an office enviornment, there is ample opportunity for this to occur. At home I can trip over nothing or open the freezer door and the glass syrup bottle will fall down and crack me on the head knocking me out for a second (true story!). The most common home obstacle is the cats. They trip me quite a bit. I think it's their conspiracy against me though. They are a satanic tag team and it's no wonder demons fear them...

My husband has given up hope and accepts that I'm going to trip or get hurt somehow. It's almost funny to a point. I will walk down the hall and hit something, cry "ouch" and he just shakes his head and sighs. He knows it's pointless to tell me to be careful. Because I'm just not.

Grace I am not....Bull in a china shop? Yes I am.

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