Monday, January 31, 2011

Eff you Roberta!

I was cleaning out my closet this evening and I pulled out my huge art portfolio that had been collecting dust for the past 8 years. I kind of sat there on the floor looking at it. I never realized that I had blocked most of my time in the MSU Interior Design program from my mind (It was hell, sheer hell) but tonight, I was sitting there looking at the huge black mass and, hey, since I'm glutton for punishment, decided to open it up.

Dammit. That was stupid. Floods of memories came back instantly and as I flipped through the decaying presentation boards. I suddenly had visions of each class and all the emotions of doing each of these projects overwhelmed me as they came rushing back. I remembered every single night sitting until 2 am in the Human Ecology building hunched over a drafting table and the tears shed from misery as if I had done it yesterday. I recalled the day I was rushing for Roberta's class in the rain and the project I had worked on for TWO MONTHS, falling out of it's plastic into a huge puddle (which subsequently had me on my knees in the puddle cradling the mushy pulp that had once been a house
plan, crying hysterically, screaming, "why God!?") On a separate note, I still extremely dislike Roberta- I won't say hate as it's a strong word, but if I were to see her today, I'd probably trip her snooty artistic ass down some stairs.

Well, there is the saying misery loves company. So please allow me to share with you the wasted 2 years of my life, I'll never get back.

This was a project on different floor finishes. My partner and I drew Tile. As the different types of tile is an immense catalog, we decided to focus on Quarry and Resilent Tile. We spent quite a bit of time coordinating work and school schedules to work on this project but ultimately it ended up being done at midnight the day before it was due with help from several cans of Bud Light.
The awesome thing about summer classes is they are usually taught by a grad student and they usually are just there for the credit and don't give rat's ass so you get pretty good grades. We did pretty well on this one.

The next project was in Roberta's class. The concept was to take a letter of the alphabet and create a business utilizing only x amount of floor space. My concept (which, I still think is awesome since the witch nixed my gentlemen's club
using the letter "B"The concept would have been the round parts of the B would be the stage and the in the center would be strategically placed poles, which would have great creative innuendo on the plan view) was to have a travel agency. The main part of it was the buiding was located in Las Vegas, and in Vegas, it's go big or go home. So, since it was a travel agency, I concocted the idea of a huge globe that actually mimicked a puzzle since most people had no idea where they wanted to go on vacation to "Find their Peace" (ha! get it?) The globe sat on top of a circular building ( "O"). I thought it was
pretty damn creative. But not for the Nazi, Roberta.

The 3rd project was actually my very first project. We had to take a building and design a fountain in front of it. I choose the Walt Disney theater in Los Angeles ( the epitomy of modern theater architecture) The building is sleek and shiny steel flowing as if it had music coursing through it.
My fountain was a silver steel fountain, polished to stainless perfection, with abstract Mickey Ears in the centerpiece. Quite clever and the first teacher absolutely loved my concept. Too bad she didn't teach HED 242.

I was and still am proud of this presentation board.

The 4th and actually the final project was a FOUR MONTH undertaking. I worked hard and in the last week, spent 56 hours on the finishing touches with only maybe 8 hours of sleep. I was proud. All the lettering was by hand. I spent days working out the fabulous concept and the color scheme was freaking amazing and had I been an male Interior Designer looking at the boards, I totally would have done me. (I kind of have a high opinion of my work and genius...until Aaron knocks me down off my pedestal...he keeps me humble) This project was also what culminated in my tearful throwing of the white towel and jumping ship to Construction Management...I literally had a nervous breakdown due to lack of sleep and since I've gone back to this dark place, I would like to ask forgiveness to the poor souls along Grand River I might have viciously lashed verbally. Also I ask forgiveness from the Beaners chicks (and yes I'm saying Beaners, eff Bigby's, it will always be Beaners..PC Police be damned) who I might have thrown coffee at across the counter. Kind of poetic that this project was for Roberta's class. She was the final straw. As you will see in the following pictures, a lot of yellow post it notes from her...and after all the time, tears, hard work over the last two years.....bitch gave me a 2.5.

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